TRUE (CREATIVITY) CONFESSIONS
Me, trying to start my new series.
“Only when he no longer knows what he is doing does the painter do good things.”
I am trying to begin a new series of mixed media drawings. However, I must confess that I am having a very difficult time getting started on these pieces.
Here are some of the things that I am telling myself:
- “I bought these really nice, precious, expensive wood panels to work on. I only bought 12 of them. What if I mess up? Besides, they are too nice to work on.”
- “These pieces are too big to work on lying flat and too small to put on an easel. How am I going to work on these things?”
- “I know what I want these finished pieces to look like. I can visualize them in my mind. What if I can’t duplicate what I envision?”
- These pieces are inspired by the death of my parents. They have to be perfect. What if I can’t do this topic, or my parents, justice?”
I think I am scared of these pieces. Ultimately, however, I think this is a good thing because it tells me that I am trying something risky and that I care.
I am putting pressure on myself to get it right and perfect on the very first piece.
I need to realize my vision and get going. I need to relax and trust my intuition and talents. I just need to begin. I need to try. I need to guess and correct. I need to treat these pieces as if I were on a journey; a search to find the right line, tone , value, smudge, shape, texture and color. And then go from there. I need to take risks, dare and embrace the accidents and mistakes. In past work, I have gotten some of my best results when I make a mistake. And then, in the process of re-working it, I make magic.
I know that I need to head in the direction of what I think I want these pieces to look like.
I just have to begin. Start. Try.
And keep at it.
And build momentum.
And have fun with the process.
I hope my trials and tribulations with these pieces will help you with your work. I will keep you posted, both verbally and visually, as to my progress with these pieces.
BTW, since writing this post, I have been able to begin working on these pieces. And I am slowly beginning to build momentum.